Something beautiful

When I can take a bit of time (usually for me that translates to... a lot of time... it's the "technology" that trips me up...) I will get a music list on here and have some of my favorite songs.  One that I would pick to put on it first would be Something Beautiful by the Newsboys...

Recently I've had two "something beautiful"s.  The first is my youngest child turning 11. 

I love his innocence.  I love his wit.  I love his determination.  I love the beauty in his eyes.

Okay, so that is really a "nerd"  photo opp... But, I do love his eyes!

Happy Birthday, my dear one.  Sometimes I still get the "so full my heart could burst" moments with him... but, as he matures and grows more independent, those change to "mom is very proud".  My heart could still burst, but the strong emotion changes a bit.  I don't really know how to articulate it... But, a few years back Victor had a red, shiny heart.  It was small and plastic.  He kept it in his pocket.  A few times a week he would come up to me and hand it over, saying, "Mom, here's my heart... You keep it for me."  And I would keep it in my pocket, treasuring the feel of it.  Sometimes he would come back and ask, "Can I have my heart back?"  Other times I would find him and say, "Hey, Victor, here's your heart!"  It was something beautiful.

Although I think I may have mentioned it in a previous year's birthday... a few years ago when I would drop him off at school each morning, he would get out, shut the door and look for eye contact, holding up his hands in sign language, signing "I love you".  I signed back to him.  That was something beautiful.  Then he would turn, run a few steps and stop and look back once more and sometimes sign it again.  One day I noticed that he would sign and run off and not stop and look back for me.  My heart lurched.  And then the day came when he stopped signing, but he would shut the door, look for my eyes and wave.  This past year he began grabbing his backpack, opening the door with a quick, "Bye, mom!" and out he went, without looking back... very often.  Sometimes he will stop and look for my eyes.  Something beautiful.  I know he will continue to grow up... I hope that these memories are etched into his soul like they are in mine.  I hope some day he will have these times with his own child and know it is something beautiful.

And my other something beautiful today was prayer day at church.  The dimly lit sanctuary.  The glow behind the cross.  Sitting so quietly without distraction.  Pouring my heart out to my God.  Knowing that in all my life, He has been there and is faithful.  Giving to God, yet once again, my life... offering it up for His purpose, not exactly knowing how that will play out... but knowing full well that I am called to honesty, integrity and to pour out His love through me and my life choices... and that when I make mistakes, He will turn them into something useful.  Something beautiful.