Monday, September 17, 2012

Summer Time, Part 2

It was a big summer for all of us...

A very dear person in my family spent some time learning and growing at a recovery camp for several weeks. I am very proud of said family member. It was scary time, intimidating, and oh-so-necessary. We spent many moments together during visitation or counseling sessions where I thank my God that I held my tongue, listened and took all I could learn to know how to be a better parent and to love more. Our relationship grew by leaps and bounds. The story isn't mine to share, so that's about all I will write publicly. It was a huge part of my summer, so I needed to mention it. A few moments stand out above the others... When I took my person to check in, there was such anger towards me. I had no choice but to turn and walk away... leaving behind someone who refused to look at me or say good-bye. A few weeks later I spent an afternoon there and a good bit of tension was released. We walked down a path as far as one is able to accompany a visitor... there were wee little orange flowers growing along the way. I said, "When you see these, think of me and how much I love you, okay?" We shared a tight hug and an "I love you" and I turned to walk away to hear a voice call out, "Mom, turn back once more." And saw my brave child signing "I love you". Tears ran down my face all the way to the car. Oh, how a mother loves her children. Then came the day when it was time to move to a new place. I helped load up, gave hugs, thanked some really terrific people, watched more hugs and good-byes and we were off. Several hours later it was time once more to say good-bye. I looked up and saw the time and knew I needed to get on the road and come home and the tears began. I was handed this little paper stationary heart and told to keep it with me to show me the love... I think this was the hardest time I had to leave. I sit crying once more as I type. I wanted to stay. I wanted to do for my child what had one had to learn to do for one's self. I wanted to protect. I was afraid for the choices ahead. We now share texts, phone calls, jokes and songs and laughter and tears as this journey continues. Perhaps one day I will be able to share more of the story, for it is certain to help other moms and family members who struggle with addictions.

A few odds and ends... I made a quilt for Jayden out of scraps from the fabric I made his nursery curtains and bedding from... It was fun because I just made it up as I went. I only do tie quilts, so that's what it is... and I do my best at binding, but that's not my favorite part... so, here is the quilt I made:

Early summer I picked out this garden girl... she reminded me of Bek as a youngster and just stole my heart.

Speaking of Bek... She has had an incredible summer turned fall! She has been San Francisco State University's poster child for students earning their way through college... struggling... fighting for their ability to earn an education. She has been featured in the San Francisco Chronicle a couple of times, been followed by camera crews and has been quoted on a large billboard near the University... not to mention she joined Senator Barbara Boxer at a press conference where she was introduced by the Senator and shared a bit of her story. She now has her Junior year at the University underway... but, guess what? She was also chosen as an intern at the San Francisco Chronicle! Which is amazing and her dream... she is a journalism major and it is such a joy to watch her grow. I wish at times that her struggle wouldn't be so hard (financially), but it also shapes her. She is determined and ever so delightful. She is still my Rebekah and we get together when we can and laugh at the ways we mirror each other... she is the apple that fell from my tree! I remember wanting to be a journalist at some point... called myself the "Roving Reporter"... and my grandmother, Betty, wanted to be a reporter/journalist as well. How cool is that? She came home for a couple of weekends this summer... and I met up with her a few times on her turf.

So to not leave anyone out... Shasta made a commitment this summer to get in shape... to make better eating choices... and along with her best friend began working out daily. She surrounded herself with notes and inspiration and followed through. It began with Jillian's 30 day shred (not one day missed!), followed by a multiple disk program called "Insanity". It has been transforming for her and I am proud as can be that she did this for herself.

And that will do it for my summer review... I am almost ready to enjoy fall... Not quite because I cherish warm summer nights... However, I have no choice but to embrace the next season, so, I suppose I will.


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