Friends

Well... I'm in a season of change. It's not my favorite. But, I believe God is sovereign and that all things work together for good... in the end. Sometimes I wish I could just skip to the "end" for the "good" instead of walking the day by day. Because my personal struggles are with family, I am not at liberty to share what I am going through. For now, I will just share some random thoughts that do mean a lot to me....

Last year I was very inspired by Kelle Hampton. While I don't agree with everything, I have enjoyed her blog immensely. Her love of life and the way she takes in each moment have made an impact on me. From reading along, I learned to take hold of each day and live it fully... laughing... smiling... finding joy... enjoying little things. For too many years I kept telling myself that "when I get through this" I will enjoy life... or slow down and take in the moments... Not any more! All of last year I chose to stay in the moment and take every bit of joy I could out of life. Kelle's inspiration has kept me clicking photos and posting on my blog.

When my heart is aching, I tend to not come to my blog. People don't want to come across a blog and read about someone being misrepresented and hurt by those they put trust in. But, it happens.

And over the past couple weeks, when I've wanted to sit down and blog, but just couldn't because I felt so raw... I did think about posting about friends. In fact, friends just keep coming to mind.

Because when life hurts... true friends make a difference.

From my mom, one of my true friends, I learned not to judge others. From life I learned that, too. Because it's not fun to be judged. Oftentimes we are misjudged. So... it's just not so good to judge others. It's just one of those things that comes back to bite you... And when I think of my mom, I think of a hot cup of coffee and an early morning phone call.

When I think of Donna, I think of "Victor meals". When I met Donna, we just clicked. I knew that there were many things to learn from her. Lots of practical things. And I knew that I had acceptance. No matter what. She'd been around the block a few times and knew. She is simply unselfish. It is her joy to help others. Any time of day, any day of the year. If there's anyone that I can say anything to... anything at all... good or bad... and know... absolutely know that I am going to still be loved, it's Donna. When Victor was born, he was allergic to every formula and was allergic to wheat/gluten, some fruits, and... well... the only things he could eat were meats, vegetable and some fruits. And he was a baby. As soon as he was old enough, Donna would line her counters with small food trays. She would go tray by tray and put meat, veggies and home made apple dessert (all foods home made with care to not triggerg any allergy!!). Then she would wrap each one, freeze them and fill up boxes to deliver to my house! Her face would light up any time that I drove up her driveway and knocked on the door. My kids were her kids. It was easy and relaxing to drop in for a quick visit and a cup of tea. Always a cup of tea. I'll always hear her voice call out, "Nooo!" when she heard that I was moving far away. She even came to sit at my wedding table back in 2008. What a treasure of a friend God blessed me with in Donna...

Many years ago... when my dad loaded up my boxes and drove me to college... I saw a girl sitting on some steps outside the dorm. She saw me, too. Somehow we ended up spending that evening together, chatting away while I unpacked boxes. We haven't stopped chatting since then! I couldn't hand pick a "sister" any better. We were married about a year apart from each other, had our first babies a year apart... we swapped recipes and housekeeping tips and encouraged each other along the path of homeschooling. We have cried many times together. She has prayed me through melanoma and divorce and I try to make her laugh... she needs to laugh more. She tends to be a serious person. Guess God knew we needed each other! She inspires me to take things more seriously... to take the high road... to be dependable and responsible. I hope I inspired her to let loose... to laugh... jump... throw it all to the wind sometimes and feel free. We were roomies (next door to each other) in college and back then when she made the ridiculous decision to leave me and get married, she gave me gift... a stuffed version of this:

It had a tag on it that read, "Waddle I do without you?" I am glad that we have never had to figure out how to live without each other. Thanks for being a friend for life, Rachelle.

Some of my true friends were closer at times than other times... because we lived near each other. But, I know in my heart that they are out there. They care. When we connect, we easily pick up right where we left off and we know that our love for each other is not lost... My friend, Becky, who took lots of time to care for me... to drive me when I didn't have a car... to stop by with care packages... Becky is truly great at sharing encouragement. Little bits of wisdom... a smile in her eyes and heart that gives you just what you need. Thanks, Becky! And Laurie. Laurie's family and my family knew each other before I was born! We didn't grow up knowing each other because we didn't live nearby. But, in my teens, Laurie was the older girl who set a great example for me to follow. And when I needed a friend... someone who wouldn't judge and come alongside and be there with me, Laurie was there. She was my birth coach for my first baby's birth. Thanks, Laurie. And I cannot think of friends without thinking of Amy. She's another friend who knew me for years in Alaska and stayed in touch... visiting me a few times since I moved away. She wasn't a "one time" friend. I love her heart for God. I love the compassion that she and her husband have for others and for their parenting choices... I am so glad that she is a friend.

I should have taken a picture of my phone next to my keyboard... because nowadays my friends just aren't a phone call away, they are often times just a click away.

When I think of friends, I think of my dad and his lovely wife. We had some bumpy places on our path together, but I am so thankful for them. I have seen my mom, Linda, grow in beauty over the years. My dad... I am so thankful for him. He is a simple man. A steady man. I paid tribute to him in a bit of prose a couple years ago, expressing how he sets a quiet example... but a necessary one:

Dad

by Betty Warren on Tuesday, August 18, 2009 at 8:43pm

Before the break of day, you've begun
Coffee cup in hand... whistling a happy tune
Days gone by saw you caring for your family
Working, Dependable
Looking back, you've been quite simple
Enjoying a long drive, laughing at a joke

Some men are great dreamers
Others are contemplative... analytical
Some are remarkable leaders

Yet in the quiet evening there is found peace
and the appreication of a man
Who has been caring... steady...
Remarkable in his routine
A man whose family knows
how very dear he is

Thank you, my dad, for your life
of daily example
Thank you for caring and loving
I Love You, Betty

He called me every week... sometimes twice a week during the year of my divorce. He had to know that his little girl was okay. I cannot say how much that meant to me. He refused to hear that I had cancer. He refused to hear that the Dr. said 3-5 years. That was well over a decade ago. He still calls every week or so. I have a couple of his voice messages that always stay on my phone, so I can hear his voice. Thanks dad and mom!

I have been doubly blessed in the Mother-in-law department. My first is just a call away. She encourages me. She listens. Cathy always helps me give the benefit of the doubt and forgive.


Thank you, friends. You have made such a difference in my life. I cannot wait for eternity to dance barefoot on green grassy hills, rejoicing with all of you around... Well... that's my vision... to be in a place of joy and never another pain... rejoicing with those who God placed around me. Now I wonder who wants me to join them while they dance on their hill? The only true consolation in enduring pain is that God can use it in His sovereignty to help another person out there.

*** Here's a birthday shout out to Nathaniel, my turtle boy who turns 15 tomorrow. I love you to the moon and back. No matter what. ***