Sunday, September 11, 2011

Grace Based Parenting, Chapter 1 review

As I sit to write this post, my thoughts are all over the place. I pray that this will be a time when God speaks to me and through me on a topic so close to my heart.


As my oldest daughter reminded me weeks ago, God didn't send Jesus to die for our best efforts, He sent Jesus to die for our sins and failures. So, I share as a mom who has a big share of failures, but a heart so full of love for her children. One of my sons, Nathaniel, told me last week not to wish for "do overs" because our mistakes play a part in making us who we are. So, I'm not even going to wish for a do-over with my children... I'm just going to share from my heart and move forward with my life as a testimony.

I remember holding my babies for the first time after their birth. Each one. I remember wondering how I could pass on to them hope and faith in God and how I could possibly answer some of life's biggest questions. I remember the awe of the responsibility of being their mom.

Twenty one years has gone by now since I first became a mom. I suspected something along the way and it has held true, but it has taken a while for me to fully grasp how very important it is. This truth is voiced clearly in the first chapter of the book Grace Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel and it goes like this: "How we view God determines how we parent our children." (p. 16)

My oldest daughter read this book and felt the awe of the responsibility in raising her son and we have had some great conversations since she read it. She insisted that I read the book, too. And I am so thankful that she shared it with me. I am more aware of my faults and shortcomings than you could imagine. Yet in that I thank my Heavenly Father because that awareness keeps me turning to Him in prayer for help and for wisdom. I have decided to share some quotes from each chapter and blog about what I am learning under the heading "Seriously" here at my blog. I cannot say that I will write weekly, because I might go through a spurt where I write more often or I might hit a busy week that keeps me from sharing, but I offer to my friends and family my journaling on this journey.

Grace Based Parenting, by Dr. Tim Kimmel

Chapter 1 Why Well-Meaning Parenting Falls Short

This chapter takes us parents on an overview of parenting styles and presents us with a wonderful dose of hope at the end (and that's just the first chapter!). It covers information on fear-based parenting, behavior modification, image control, high-control, herd mentality, permissiveness, judgemental and legalistic parenting and then presents grace based parenting.

As I mentioned, I have felt for many years that a parent's view of God impacts how they parent. I love how the author took us through some of the pit falls and then gave us something new to apply. The call to parents to recognize their children's deepest basic needs not only opened my eyes, but gave me an answer I'd been seeking for some time. A lot of times we find out what doesn't work, but we still don't know what does work. At least in my case! I was able to take the closing paragraphs of this first chapter and apply them to life with my children immediately. My attitude changed. I felt so much more certain that I could offer my children exactly what they needed in life. That God could use me to make a difference in each one of their lives.

With respect to copyright, I will share just a few of the chapter's favorite quotes from this first chapter.

"... parents are deluded into thinking that families with children who learn to obey the most rules produce the best kids." p. 7

"The real test of a parenting model is how well equipped the children are to move into adulthood as vital members of the human race." "... are we effective at producing the kinds of kids who are anxious to be used of God to reform the world around them?" p. 9 and 10

"The primary word that defines how God deals with His children in grace." p.20

"Grace does not exclude obedience, respect, boundaries, or discipline, but it does determine the climate in which those important parts of parenting are carried out." p. 20

"Grace is the best advertisement for a personal relationship with the living God." p. 25

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for using Dr. Tim Kimmel to teach parents through this book. Thank you for being the best model of a parent. Thank you for love, grace and salvation. Help me to daily be the best mom that I could be for You. For your glory. Amen.

Blessings, my friends,

1 comment:

Savannah McQueen said...

Hey Betty...checking in on you. Haven't heard from you in a while.