Introducing "Seven Steps Up"!!!

For several months I have thought about the name of my blog,“Out of Oz”, and what it has represented in my life. Although I really love to write about life and it's lessons and my personal growth, I have not shared much about coming out of an abusive marriage, what that involved or what it was like to recover. One reason that I haven't written about these things is... not only is it very personal, but there are always two sides to stories and although I “know” what I've experienced and how wrong it was, to publicly share information that involves other people out there does not seem “okay”. Sometimes I will refer to a “dark time in my life” and I will continue treating this delicately. When I came up with my original blog name, I chose “Out of Oz” because it meant that I was free from that abusive relationship... I was “out”.

This spring a new chapter in life began and I have been learning so much about myself, my dreams, and the gift of strength that God has given to me. One day I was out sitting near the edge of stunning cliffs, overlooking the ocean... notebook and pen in hand, writing about other times I sat in the same place, aching... longing for stability... peace... wishing for time to speed by and take me to the day when this very difficult time was past. On this one day I started to brainstorm ideas for a new blog name. Because “Out of Oz” tells part of my story but does not represent the whole of who I am or what my life is about. Although ideas swirled around and a few were written down, it was months before the new name came to me.

Recently I have found myself in a new place. There is joy. There is contentment (well, isn't that always a work in progress? It is for me!). There is true hope and faith once more reigning in my heart. When you experience deep emotional pain and rejection, “hope” itself can really hurt. To think that life could be better hurts because you've stopped trusting. It hurts to hope because you don't want to be disappointed. At this time I have true hope once more. It is real and it is incredibly beautiful. There is also a strength that has come from “knowing”. Knowing who you are. Knowing that no one can take that from you. When you are driving down the road and it occurs to you, “No one can really hurt me”. Knowing that God is sovereign and that you really can trust Him. Knowing that whatever storms are ahead, you will be just fine. Wow! That's where I've been.

Back to my blog name... Several weeks back my therapist began planting seeds with me to work through memories from childhood and my first marriage in a way that would re-organize them in my brain to reduce the stress of the memories when they are recalled. The first step was to come up with a place or person that was safe. Like a beach or nature scene. A close friend who anything can be shared with. Well, for some reason (Don't you like that? “some reason”... perhaps God?), a place came to mind instantly. When I was a little girl, about 10, I would go up the neighbor's staircase, seven steps up and sit. From there I looked down at our courtyard and the patio where I played. I could see our front door and living room window. Many times I sat there and processed life... thinking about experiences and relationships. This particular time in my life was a time of peace... my mom and dad were married to each other, I loved 5^th grade, my teacher, and friends, I loved church and what God meant to me... I loved sitting seven steps up. There have been other places that have been “mine”... up a tree in the yard... in the corner at the small table having tea in the quiet of the morning, reading... laying in bed writing... places where life gets processed... And that is where I am at now. I am seven steps up... looking down... reflecting on life and daily events... growing... learning... loving... and I believe that is a great name for my blog... Seven Steps Up. You can join me there. I'll share the stairs! Come on up and sit a bit.